One of the biggest complaints new clients come to me with is a need for more support in their relationship. Most folks tell me they've asked and asked (maybe a thousand times) for support but just don't feel like they're getting it.
Usually, when we talk with their partner the other side of the story includes just as many attempts at support as requests. And on their side, these attempts are as overlooked or missed as the initial requests.
So how do you meet in the middle? It can help to shift the conversation by getting specific right from the beginning. While you might think you're being clear in asking for more support or telling them you feel unsupported, getting more clear will help them learn to meet your needs.
In sessions, we work to identify what meaningful support looks like to each partner- and often in each situation. For those of you who can't make it in, I've outlined key themes in support and given examples of each on this worksheet to help you in identifying your unique support needs.
With greater awareness and specificity you can make clear requests and your partner can more easily work to meet you where you need them most.
Start by asking yourself, what would meaningful support look like in this situation? What specific behaviors would help before, during, and after the situation I'm working on? If you need inspiration download this guide for help.
I hope this framework can help you get clearer about what you need from your sweetie- and can help them better meet you. Let me know if you'd like my support in this conversation, I'm here for you.