couples counseling

June Recommended Relationship Resources

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!


LISTEN IN: PODCASTS ON RELATIONSHIPS

I love listening to podcasts, and often reference them in session with clients. They’re a really easy way to learn about the science of relationships and often are a simple way to learn something new while driving, lawn mowing, or getting other things done. I wanted to share a few of my recent favorites and the most common episodes I send to the folks I work with.

INVISIBILIA - THE END OF EMPATHY

As you likely know, Invisibilia is a favorite podcast of mine. This episode handles understanding the perspective of another- even one who feels like an enemy and how we work to take each other’s perspectives into account. I will warn you, this was a really hard one for me to listen to- but I still highly recommend a listen.

INVISIBILIA - A VERY OFFENSIVE ROM-COM

Over the years I’ve heard many stories from clients about racial inequality and racism in their online dating experiences. This episode dives deeper into the experiences - specifically of Asian and Asian-American men in the online dating scene. It’s fascinating, and for some of you will be incredibly validating.

WATCH & LEARN: RED TABLE TALKS

If you’re not already watching, Jada Pinkett-Smith, her mother, and daughter host regular conversations on authenticity, personal growth, and relationships on Facebook called Red Table Talks.

As you can imagine, getting three strong women together for real talk makes for powerful conversations. In this episode, they invited my mentor, Esther Perel, to the table to discuss infidelity in relationships. I highly recommend watching.


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

May Recommended Relationship Resources

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!



WHAT TO WATCH: ESTHER PEREL SXSW 2019

IN her most recent talk Esther Perel draws clear connections between what we know in the world of couples therapy and the experiences of trust, connection, and communication in the workplace. It’s an interesting talk for entrepreneurs especially as you create teams and connections with clients and stakeholders. Check it out:

LISTEN IN: FAVORITE LOVE & RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS


INVISIBILIA - THE WEATHERMAN

Invisibilia is an excellent podcast series that explores behaviors, beliefs, and assumptions through science. This episode focuses on the way we navigate and manage uncertainty in the world with an intense narrative from an Alabama weatherman. I highly recommend a listen.

THIS AMERICAN LIFE: NO FAIR!

This is an incredible exploration of three takes on justice and fairness in the larger world- a concept that comes up all the time in relationship coaching sessions. It could be interesting to explore the topic from very different angles and see how they might apply to your relationship and/or your take on justice.


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

April Recommended Relationship Resources

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!

WHAT TO READ: POSTS FROM GREAT MINDS ON LOVE

THE TRUTH THAT LIVES THERE, DEAR SUGAR ON THE RUMPUS, BY CHERYL STRAYED

Y’all, I have recommended this reading so often to clients and friend I have the page number in Tiny Beautiful Things memorized. But you don’t have to buy the full book (though I do recommend the whole book) just to read my favorite piece. In it author Cheryl Strayed (yes, from Wild) writes an advice column response to five women all of whom have written in about their stuck spot considering a break up from a mostly decent partner.

I read this when I was splitting up with a truly wonderful person in a very similar way and I sobbed so hard from the feeling seen of it. Since then I’ve recommended it alongside tissues to so many folks who aren’t sure if just wanting to leave is enough. If that description fits you, read it here (and have tissues handy).

LISTEN IN: FAVORITE LOVE & RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS

MODERN LOVE PODCAST

If you like love stories- real, true, honest love stories- Modern Love Podcast is for you. I’m going to take this month’s post just to share my most favorite episodes of Modern Love for you to check out.

You could listen just because you like love and romance. Or you can listen because one of these descriptions calls to you, either way I’m sure you’ll find a sweet reflection of one of the many ways of love in the world.

Rallying to Keep the Game Alive, with Connie Nielsen

This episode truly reflects a majority of the relationships I see. Folks who have gotten caught in longstanding patterns of misunderstanding, competition, and lacking fulfillment. I love this episode because it rings so true for SO MANY couples who’ve been together a long long time.

A Forgotten Prayer, Answered, with Mira Sorvino

I’m including this one because it resonated so deeply at a personal level as a woman who has struggled with infertility. Though our stories are different, it can be a real challenge to find others who share your experience when you’ve struggled for many years and also when you already have a child. I am including it here for anyone else who wants to hear another woman’s story of this painful experience.

When Eve and Eve Bit the Apple, with Rachel Weitz

I’ve now supported quite a few folks who come out as lesbian or gay after spending their foundational years committed to the Christian church instead of dating. This essay sweetly shares an one woman’s story of finding love and coming out.

Yes We Do, Even at Our Age, with Lois Smith

Lots of younger folks don’t think about sex at later life stages, but yes, it happens. Here’s a sweet story about pieces of life you have to look forward to.

The Secret to Marriage, with Sandrah Oh

For some people the secret to staying together is NOT getting married. For those of you who are wondering if a different kind fo commitment is better for you, this podcast might shed some light.


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

Changes Coming to My Coaching Practice

Hello!

I'm writing this note to update all of you readers about some changes in my practice this spring. 

As many of you know, I am expecting a baby this summer and plan to take time away from seeing clients July-August of this year.  However, due to an unexpected personal change, my in-person practice is moving out of state even sooner, on May 1, 2019 (my family is all healthy- don’t worry, it’s an exciting change). 

I am still seeing clients in my NE Portland office until May 1, 2019.  If you'd like to meet in person (even for a one session check-in), please reply to this email so I can be sure to get you on the schedule. 

After May 1, I am still open to supporting you in a variety of ways. I will list them below. Even if you never sign up for a program or meet with me please know I am available to offer resources and referrals anytime. You can reach me using this email (gina@ginasenarighi.com), you can find me on facebook here or here, on instagram, or on either of my websites (nonmonogamous.com or ginasena.com). 

I am grateful to all of you for being a part of my professional journey in Portland.  It’s been such a blessing to get so much community support for the work I do, and so have so many incredible local people share their intimate lives with me.

You are all in my heart no matter where I live or practice, Gina

ONGOING COACHING/COUNSELING OPTIONS

ONLINE COACHING & COUNSELING

First, I will continue to see clients (as I have been) online using Zoom video conferencing services until July and again in the fall. 

IN PORTLAND, OREGON

If you'd like to get support from a Portland-area provider there are several I highly respect listed here. I'm also open to hopping on the phone for a quick chat to help you connect with a provider if you have specific questions about finding someone who can meet your unique needs. 

 

COACHING FOCUS AREAS

SOLO RELATIONSHIP COACHING

I will continue supporting folks as individual clients who are interested in changing relationship patterns. These hour-long sessions have been instrumental for lots of folks who are just starting dating after a break up, who need help asking for what they need in partnerships and/or who are thinking about ending a relationship.

PREMARITAL COUNSELING
I am still offering premarital/pre-commitment counseling online if you or anyone you know might be interested in focused support around a shared life commitment. These sessions have been helpful for folks who want an integrity-fueled plan for the future without a specific religious dogma attached.

SHOULD WE BREAK UP?

I'm also still offering discernment counseling online for folks considering breaking up who want to process that in a compassionate way. Some people call this “conscious uncoupling.” Whatever you call it, think of this an a kind or friendly alternative tho the way most people view breakups. Feel free to refer folks you know who might be interested here.

NON-MONOGAMY, POLYAMORY & OPEN RELATIONSHIPS

I still support tons of people considering consensual non-monogamy and/or practicing it for a long time. I’ve helped thousands of clients decide if, when, and how consensual non-monogamy is a fit for them. Read more here.

SEXUALITY COUNSELING FOR PASSION, INTIMACY & DESIRE

I’ll be finishing up my Sex Counseling credential later this year. This has meant helping people overcome common sexual dysfunctions in relationships and in long-term relationships overcoming desire fatigue.  Info on that can be found here.

WORKSHOPS & EVENTS

FREE MONTHLY MASTERCLASS

I've been hosting a monthly free relationship tune-up call every month for the last year.  You can find information about them here.  Please sign up right away if you're interested, they tend to fill quickly.

RETREATS

POLYAMORY 101 RETREAT

I'll still host my Polyamory 101 Annual Retreat in Portland (and soon I'll have an online version).  You can sign up to be invited here.

LESBIAN COUPLES RETREAT

I also have a Lesbian Couples Retreat in the works for later this year. Sign up here to be invited.

ONLINE CLASSES

BOUNDARIES

I teach a course in Healthy Boundaries for relationships a few times each year.  If you're into it, check it out here.

JEALOUSY

I offer an online course on Jealousy Management a couple of times a year.  You can sign up to get notified when registration opens here.

TRUST TUNE-UP

Finally, this year I am offering my Trust Tune-Up e-course in a few weeks. You can sign up to be invited here.

FREE RELATIONSHIP RESOURCES ONLINE

FREE CONVERSATION STARTERS

I send a weekly set of conversation starters for couples via email and if you are not already receiving it you may want them, you can sign up to get those here.  I also send this list weekly-ish updates with free worksheets, reflection guides, and relationship resource recommendations.

PODCAST

My podcast Swoon launched last week. We'll share information on sex and intimacy and action steps for relationships there once per week. It's available on any of your favorite podcast platforms (I'd love it if you left a review).

BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

There are lists of my favorite books on relationships shared online here and right here.  I HIGHLY recommend them as supports even when you're in a good phase (some may be familiar to you already).

FREE TOOLS AND RESOURCES ONLINE

I offer a free relationship resource toolbox you are welcome to use anytime (save this link) filled with worksheets, guides, videos, and reading materials. I also have one tailored for non-monogamous and sex-positive relationships. If you haven’t already signed up for access you can do so here and here.

BLOG ARTICLES

Finally, I have two related blogs you can check in on anytime full of advice, resources, and ideas about relationships, communication, and intimacy.

Read them at nonmonogamous.com/blog or ginasena.com/blog today!


March Recommended Relationship Resources

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!

LISTEN IN: FAVORITE LOVE& RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS

APPROACHING WITH KINDNESS, TED RADIO HOUR

In his TEd Talk AJ Jacobs talks through the depths of his gratitude process and uncovers a web of connection that I found really touching. Enjoy!

 

THE WEDDING INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX, AKIMBO WITH SETH GODIN

Akimbo, with Seth Godin really focuses on best practices and research in marketing and entrepreneurship. I love Seth’s way of dissecting ideas into really thoughtful bits to help the listener consider what they really, truly want when making business decisions.

I’m not sure how he decided to focus on weddings in America, but I’m glad he did, and I’ sharing it now as we head into wedding season. He urges the listener to ask design questions: who is this for and what is this for?

Take a listen to it and consider what brings meaning for you- whats really important when you plan your big day.

MUST-SEE VIDEOS ON LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS

CONFIDENCE & JOY ARE THE KEYS TO A GREAT SEX LIFE, EMILY NAGOSKI

I have probably recommended this TED Talk 1000 times in my sexuality counseling practice. She gives one of the best overviews of the way human arousal actually works (and it’s not what you’ve likely been taught) I’ve ever seen - all in under 20 minutes.

This talk has helped me lead couples who are struggling to sexually connect to ask three critical questions:

  1. What helps me create an atmosphere where curiosity and openness is possible?

  2. What helps me be in a mindset of openness to connect?

  3. How do I most love to be invited into sexual connection? (or how do I want you to come on to me?)

This isn’t just made up stuff from Cosmo, it’s research-based truths about how interest and arousal works. Please do give it a watch.


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

February Recommended Relationship Resources

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!

LISTEN IN: FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS

CONVERSATION WITH PIA MELLODY, FROM CONVERSATION WITH ALANIS MORISSETTE

Recently a client clued me into the work of Pia Mellody. She said Pia’s work had given her a new lense to look at love addiction and codependent patterns in her relationship. As I began searching for information on Pia I came across this lovely interview she did on Alanis Morissette’s podcast. Their conversation gives a generous overview of Pia’s work and philosophy on dependency in relationships and with substances.

Her stance is that codependent patterns really are more based in childhood relationship trauma where we learn maladaptive patterns of relating. She says our childhood relationship trauma leaves us with immature relationship patterns as adults. Her main principles are:

  • All of us as children are worthy of love and care. All children are valuable.

  • Our stories about are partners are often untrue and sometimes have little to do with them- only us.

  • Most of us have poor modeling around creating healthy internal and external boundaries.

  • Our dreams and fantasies are deeply held because most of us learn them very early in life.

Her perspective may resonate with many of you just as it has with my client. You can read more about her work here.


THE GOOD LIFE PROJECT, STAN TATKIN LOVE, DANGER, AND CONFLICT.

Stan Tatkin founded a model of couples therapy called the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT). This model is designed to help people really get to the root of the tension and conflict in their partnership. It’s designed to help couples clearly and directly focus on their stuck points and learn to regulate their responses and ultimately change them.

This interview gives a lot of his background telling the story of how he developed the model. I think it’s useful for people considering working with a provider with PACT training to know more about this model, AND it also gives such a rich look at the neurobiology of conflict and bonding I think it could offer really valuable insight for people who are feeling really stuck in heated conflicts.

Check it out here:






WATCH THIS: FANTASTIC VIDEOS ON THE HUMAN CONDITION

TED TALK: HOW CHILDHOOD TRAUMA AFFECTS HEALTH ACROSS A LIFETIME, NADINE BURKE HARRIS

Trauma is inescapable, we’ve all survived something. But for some folks with more chronic or intense situations- especially early life trauma- is can have powerful impact on our physical health long-term. I’ve shared this video with many clients over the last couple years to share medical perspective on the health impacts of childhood trauma.



Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.  

My Recommended Relationship Resources This Month

I’ve started keeping track of the resources, tools, podcasts, and videos I assign clients every week in session with the hope they might be excellent tools for all of you as well. I’ll be posting my favorites every month this year so you can find them with ease.

Read more recommendations here.

If you have suggestions or recommendations for this list please send them to me- I always welcome more. Email them to gina@ginasenarighi.com Thank you!

LISTEN IN: FAVORITE RELATIONSHIP PODCASTS

APOLOGETICAL FROM RADIOLAB

Radiolab does an outstanding job covering all sorts of curious topics. This week they cover apologies and ownership when we’ve hurt someone. While it’s not exactly about romantic relationships, this episode gives an excellent overview of the bigger ethical picture when owning mistakes and making apologies.

IN THE NO: PART 1, ALSO FROM RADIOLAB

Also from Radiolab, a three-part series on the complications of consent in relationships. It’s not just as simple as yes or no, and because sexual assault rarely happens with strangers, the relationships involved are far more complex too.

In the first episode Kaitlin Prest revisits a complicated consent situation with her closest friend- even reenacting the moment it happened. Be warned, listening to the reenactment could be trigggering.

IN THE NO: PART 2, FROM RADIOLAB

In the second episode they dive deeper into the meaning of consent and how we learn about it in our culture. It’s a great conversation starter for couples who want more meaningful communication and stronger boundaries.

IN THE NO: PART 3, FROM RADIOLAB

In the final episode our hosts visit multiple locations where consent trainings are taking place to better understand what we ALL need to be talking about. I especially liked the visit they take to the BDSM play space to learn about boundaries and consent from the community who has been practicing a little more tenderly than mainstream relationships. Check it out:


WATCH IT: VIDEOS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS


THE ANATOMY OF TRUST, BRENE BROWN

I know I’ve posted about this talk before, but I’ve referred a few folks to it just this week and it just keeps resonating with my clients. In this talk Brene outlines the foundational elements required to build trust in relationships. Instead of thinking about trust as an all or nothing, this talk outlines the tiny ways trust is build or broken in the smallest moments.

Watch the video and as she covers each area, ask yourself how you’ve increased trust in your partnership. I promise you’ll learn ways you can strengthen your relationship.


MAKE FRIENDS: SUPPORT GROUPS & COMMUNITY EVENTS

REFUGE RECOVERY, PORTLAND MEETINGS

I’ve had a few clients recently who were looking for support to end or at least minimize their substance use. In the cases so far this year, these clients love the support of a group format, but the AA model just didn’t resonate with them. Refuge Recovery provides an alternative group format and community support without the dogma from AA. If you’re interested in support for your recovery they might be a good place to start.


READ UP: GREAT BOOKS ON RELATIONSHIPS


I could fill a few pages with great relationship book recommendations, so I’m going to do my best to narrow it to one each month. If you want my full relationship reading recommendations list click here.

THE STATE OF AFFAIRS BY ESTHER PEREL

One book I’ve recommended many times this month is Esther Perel’s most recent book, the State of Affairs. Let me list a few reasons why.

For people experiencing affairs:

  1. This book normalizes the fact that affairs happen- in our culture and all over the world. Y’all, affairs are VERY common.

  2. It also gives lots of helpful insight as to the reasons why people have affairs. And believe me, there are a lot of reasons.

  3. The book gives you lots of examples of other couples who have experienced infidelity to help you get perspective on how they got through it.

  4. And it can help you see a path forward to healing when I know it can be so hard to see possibilities moving forward.

Even for folks who haven’t experienced infidelity it can help you have informed conversations about monogamous relationships, and how you want to handle it when one of you has a crush on someone else. Couples who can navigate those conversations last longer and are better equipped to affair-proof their partnerships.


Hi!  I'm glad you're reading.  Let me know if I can help you:

Gina Senarighi Relationship Coach
  • move beyond jealousy, fear, and insecurity 

  • manage intense emotions that arise in conflicts

  • rebuild trust after infidelity or dishonesty

  • shift stuck communication & codependent relationship patterns

    I lead couples retreats, host workshops, and see private clients online, in Portland, Oregon (and soon in Chicago, Illinois and Madison, Wisconsin). 

Call me for a free consultation to rethink the way you do relationships.

Gina Senarighi, MS, MA, CPC is a communication consultant, sexuality counselor and certified relationship coach specializing in healthy communication, passionate relationships, jealousy, and infidelity.